It’s all about perspective. I love this post, because it gets to the heart of why we need to understand our kids, our special kids, and not push them into a mold because we think it’s “easier”. I can’t say it any better than this post does.

a diary of a mom



My child is not typical.

Trying to force her to be something that she’s not doesn’t work.

Let’s play a game, shall we?

Hey, mom, you need to be autistic now.


Don’t worry; we’ll show you how. We’re going to give you therapy to make you autistic.

But I’m not autistic.

Not really relevant.

But ..

We’re going to teach you to act autistic.




But ..

That’s not who I am.

Yeah, we know, but you’re going to have to get used to it.

But it’s NOT WHO I AM.

No, it’s not.

It hurts to be told that who you are is not okay.

That how you see the world is .. wrong.

That how you act is … wrong.

That how you express excitement, show fear, communicate joy, share sadness, and, and, and .. are wrong.

It is a life of No.

It is…

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Alone v. Lonely

Alone v. Lonely – “I’ve always enjoyed being alone. My two autistic kids feel the same. And I never thought much about it until I was older and it was brought to my attention by  non-autistic people.” S.R. Salas

This link connects to a post that speaks specifically to how shifting perspective just a little can change the world a lot. very important when autism is present in our lives. Would be nice if this were part of everyone’s world-view 🙂

daddy love – it’s in the script

An absolutely lovely post, and so much progress made 🙂
My son doesn’t script. He has favorite songs, etc., but he has “typical” verbal communication abilities. If your child DOES script, please read Diary’s posts related to this. Scripting is often communication (from everything I’ve read by parents and autistic adults). Stopping scripting stops a potential avenue for communication – our most desired and NEEDED thing in our relationships.

a diary of a mom

Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad. – Unknown

Last night, we took Luau out for his birthday. Since I’d been chronicling the day in pictures from the start, I had my phone close at hand. I figured I’d get a snap of the ludicrous 22-ounce steak he’d ordered or something else equally banal. Instead, what I caught was magic.

Back in September, I wrote the following on Diary’s Facebook page.


In the pictures that follow, Luau is scripting with Brooke.

(Ed note: For more on what I mean by scripting, and to read about the evolution of Brooke’s scripts, click HERE. For further reading, click HERE and HERE.)

Every therapist we ever saw told us to discourage Brooke’s scripts. Every IEP that was ever written made their demise a goal. Until  the day that we said No More. Because…

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Compliance by ThAutcast

This blog post is important for everyone, especially for neurotypicals and neurotypical parents of autistic children (heck, and non-autistic children as well).

Autistic people already know how important it is to NOT make compliance the most important piece of education for autistic children.  “Why?” some of you may ask? The most benign reason is that when compliance is the focus, the individual is at risk of sacrificing who they are for who they think people want them to be. The most dangerous reason is abuse – emotional, physical, sexual. When compliance comes before all else, how can you say “NO!”?

Somehow, we parents of autistic AND neurotypical children need to, through building MUTUAL respect, help our kids discover and become the best possible people they are. Raising compliant children is easy – it’s based on fear, intimidation and superficial thinking. Thoughtful, responsive, investigative, respectful parenting – basically modeling the behaviors we want our children to have – takes a LOT of work, but it’s worth the effort when the result is a strong, healthy, safe, confident child.

Autism and Puberty: What I wish I would have known

Autism and Puberty: What I wish I would have known

As the mother of a child a few years away from puberty (but not that far), I worry that I will give not enough or too much information. My son is very literal, very factual, very science oriented. He drew RIBS and NERVES on a stick figure in kindergarten when he learned about them from a medical picture book we had at home. Puberty is confusing enough when your neurotypical – add in social confusion and literal thinking on top of that and the prospect is even more daunting.

This blog post is from the autistic female perspective, but it speaks to the need for knowledge/information that all our kids should have, beyond “don’t do it till you’re married”. I fully intend for my child to know, understand and respect his body and the bodies of others. I want him to be safe and I want to spare him as much confusion as possible.