Born Autistic, Always Autistic, Even Prior to My Diagnosis

Honestly, a little understanding goes a long way.

Autistic Aloha

I would like to say something about my Autism Diagnosis and my social issues. I did not suddenly become Autistic on the day that I was diagnosed (as an adult). I have been Autistic since the day that I was born.

I was very well aware that I did not “fit in” well with most other people. I sometimes even told people that, even though I am polite and know to say “please” and “thank you,” my social skills are “poor.” I knew that I didn’t understand the social rules, no matter how much that I tried, and I admitted to having “bad social skills” to people before my diagnosis.

You know those scenes in movies and on TV where people go into a bar by themselves and go up to the bar for a drink? That was not me! I would never go into a bar unless I was…

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“People Do Not Believe Me”

Emma's Hope Book

“People do not believe me” was what Emma wrote on our last day in Texas last week.  Prior to that sentence she wrote a message to Richard and me that left me in tears because it expressed her gratitude for believing in her and for fighting for her right to be thought competent and intelligent.

One day my daughter will be able to write what she feels and believes independently, of this I have absolutely no doubt.  When that day occurs, she can choose what and when she wants to write such things, but for now, I will keep this post to my own views and opinions.

As many of you know, it was not so very long ago that I was one of those people Emma was referring to.  I have a great many feelings as I write that sentence, but as I trace back what was going on…

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I am not like you

Aspergers and Me

Once upon a time I wanted to write a post about conflicting desires. Specifically, about my desire to fit in and pass for normal, but also my desire for people to recognize and remember that I’m different. I have a note on it sitting in my list of possible blog topics to write about.

My desires, however, are getting less and less contradictory as time goes on. Oh, sure, I can get tired of my constant status as outsider, of the fact that I never really feel like I’m part of a group… but “outsider” is increasingly part of my identity, and I have found that sometimes I am more a part of a group than I perhaps had thought.

However, it’s the second of those desires that I’m actually wanting to talk about there. The desire for people to just bloody remember that I’m different, that I’m not like…

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Running!

Yeah, so I had time to scroll through this blog 🙂 This is just too adorable. Stim away, kiddo!

(autism) comics by suburp

16 happy

Running is big with my son, especially inside the house, in moments of happiness and anticipation – but certainly NOT for competitions in school. “Stop running!!!”has to be one of the most common phrases in our house as he also runs with filled glasses or plates, on socks, amidst the dogs (oh, they like it!) and when getting up in the middle of the night. When it’s relatively safe, I don’t mind it though, including the crashes into walls and doors…

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sign language

Need I say more?

(autism) comics by suburp

21communication

One of our dogs is deaf. (hearing impaired, if you want – I believe he doesn’t care). He is a shelter dog and actually the one that “listens” best. Because of his lack of hearing, he is very attentive and receptive to hand signs and facial expressions. It’s not actually causing any problems. We do not need to use words.
My son, on the other hand, is sometimes blind to the subtleties of emotions expressed in faces, or doesn’t pick up on the tone of the voice, the words chosen by the person…
He needs more words.

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